Why aren't we doing that, and other questions about adulthood.

22:12

Recently, I've been itchy.

This isn't an allergy post, or a Crohns post. This is a 'when will my future come' post. There comes a time in every person's life where everyone else seems to be on the rocket setting, and well, you're on the snail setting.

My time is now. There's more after the jump, if you're interested?

What I mean by 'now', is that I have that overall body ache that everyone else is achieving more than me. Whether it's moving house into bigger digs, or having a baby, or getting pregnant, I feel like everyone is moving faster than me.

Has this happened to you?

It's super easy to feel bad about this, I do feel bad about this, but I can't help it at the same time. I mean, amazing things are happening in my life: I just got promoted, and it was a big promotion. We're renovating the house and things are going slowly, but promisingly. We travelled extensively in 2016 and hope to in 2017 also, and we're just in a really good place.

However, nothing is combating that gnawing feeling that I'm getting left behind. I guess my fear is;

"Will there be anyone left to care when it's my turn?"

Right now, I want to throw caution to the wind and fall pregnant regardless of our finances and readiness. I want to buy my own engagement ring and start planning the wedding we can afford, not the wedding we want. I want to book an all expenses paid trip to the Maldives on the credit card, and pay it off later.

But that's not real life, is it?

I'm too sensible. I know wholeheartedly that Sam and I have plans, and they're coming, they're just not here yet

I know we are planning to wed, but when? Who knows. I know we are planning a larger than 2+ fur family, but when? Who knows. I know we will travel this year, but when and where? Who knows.

I, and we all, have to remember that our life is our own and there is nothing comparable in it to someone else's life, even if you grew up on the same street and with the same influences. People are different, goals are different and that's ok!

For now, I am concentrating on taking the wall down in my dining room, and commencing groundworks on the patio area for the back garden. I'm concentrating on getting my health back to the best it can be and taking precautions to stop it getting worse. We're watching our finances to afford a new car.

Things are happening, they're just different to the things my friends have happening, and that's ok too. I'm excited for my events, can you say the same?


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